Archive for April, 2017

April 4, 2017


A few evenings ago, I was lying on the terrace looking at the twinkling stars and thinking about the next content. The grey cells were totally numb. While the numbness of the grey cells persist, the mobile beeps informed the brain to use its cells and the mobile showed “1 message received” when the eyes looked at it. I went through the text which was from one of my friends. The moment I went through the message I got the content. The grey cells were out of their numbness and started working.

I’ve always wondered about the sex. It’s not about the intercourse, I am talking about. I am talking about the masculine and feminine sex or gender. God’s greatest invention “human being”, which is comprised of man and woman. God’s most beautiful creation “WOMAN”. It’s always been a mystery for everyone to suss out this sex. I have heard it somewhere that the heart of a woman is like the depth of an ocean. And,  I’ve always wondered “Who is SHE” or “What is SHE”?

Is she a baby or a daughter or a sister or a friend or a student or a lover or a wife or a mother or a Goddess or a symbol of purity or an actress or a virago or a prey of the man’s physical hunger or a satyriasis or a puppet in a society or an example of counterfeit or a two-legged materialistic creature or a blood sucker?

She might not be any of those and might be something or someone else.  I’ve always found her as a soul enlightening person, a light in the abyss of darkness, a teacher to teach me about every little thing starting from the movement of the tongue to the most pious thing how to make love. She is the indivisible and invisible part of my aura and my soul. She is the hope in the darkness of despondency. She is the mirror when I need some rectification, she is the eternal motivation when I am imbibed with external demotivation. She is the destiny of the life’s journey, she is the concentration. She is the covert symbol of existence. She is the thought of my life, she is the mysterious truth. She made me the unsolved puzzle.  She is the importance. She is the reason of my existence, however, she is not the reason behind my success because she is my success. She is not the reason for my happiness as she is my happiness.

April 4, 2017

La Vie et La Mort

I was totally depressed with my chaotic life. Nothing was moving as per the plans, failing in each and everything which I was starting and sometimes, the plans were ruined before they were executed. The more I was thinking, the more I was getting into the claws of negativity. I have already became a prey of the Satan. The angels were far far away from my life. The thoughts which were coming were filled with negative vibes. I have always dealt with the Satan, however, the angels used to be there most of the time. This time it’s being too tough to deal with the Satan all alone. I felt like a kid left alone in a dungeon. I was so frustrated then, that I felt like giving the body of mine to the Satan and the soul to the angels.

Life has always been beautiful and this time I was unable to enjoy the serenity of this beauty. I was unable to learn how to live any more. As said by Leonardo da Vinci “While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.” So, I, finally, decided to take the life out of myself and be a part of death in stead of dying every second, every moment. It’s the dusk (the best hour out of the 24 hours), when I took the guts out of my own self to kill myself. The venom penetrated through my throat dissolving the organs while travelling to the intestine and I thought, for a moment, as if I was dead and free from all the responsibilities, worries, tautness, conflicts and my soul is going to rest in peace. The next moment, I found myself totally conscious, being more responsible than ever before. I started puking by that time and the feeling of regret was killing my inner self more than the poison. The parents of mine were aware of this act and immediately took me to the hospital. When I was going to the hospital, I was having a great conversation with the DEATH and nobody was able to hear the conversation. Nobody was able to hear this tacit conversation of ours. I reached the hospital, doctor did some treatments which I never knew as I was busy talking to my best pal, Death (then). After some moments, I found myself lying on a bed and the best pal of mine has left me. Someone asked me with a curve on his face while my eyes were looking for my, the then, best pal who was neither present there nor willing to turn up.  Perhaps, I was intoxicated for which my eyelashes were desperate to hug each other. Whenever they were hugging each other, I was accompanied with the angels and it was so lightened that I was unable to cope up with that light. Slowly and steadily, I coped up with the light and the angels, who showed me the life of mine. The beauty of life was inexplicable. I met it and it did not utter a single word, however, when I opened my eyes later, I found a radical change within me. I was looking for the death then which came and had a great word with me and told me to be with him since then. Because of that radical change (don’t know exactly what’s that change), I turned it down and his ego was hurt for which he told me that, he won’t come ever again and the next time when he’ll come, he’ll take me along with him without any questions.

I met DEATH and even, I met LIFE and I then discovered that the DEATH is beautiful to be with, however, LIFE is much more beautiful to live with. Since that day, I never lived a dead life. I just live my life.

While I was learning how to live, I, exactly, was not learning how to live, I was learning how to spend it, not live it. The day I learnt how to live it, death was far far away with the Satan and the Angels were all around. And, whenever, I met Satan by chance, I found Angels within them even.

April 4, 2017

Une Lettre

My Dearest Sweetest Adorable Uncanny Life,
   I wanted to meet you when I  did not know what life is. The more I spoke to you, the more I came closer to you. The more I loved you, the less I knew about you. Nothing or nobody can ever measure the eternity of the emotions but I dared to, although I despised it.
I love everything about my life, the smile, the voice, the anger, the support, the care, the understanding, the silence, the sharing, the intuition, the telepathy, the pain, the tears, the trust, the thoughts, the elegance. One survives or lives not only because of the life or the soul, it’s because of the life and the soul and I don’t know which one you are or you represent both.
  The stars above not always twinkle but they shine, they always have a brightness in them and I am glad to have the brightness within me which is making me indefatigable. I love the tacit relationship of ours.  Sometimes, the wind blows hard against you, you don’t oppose it and let it blow and then ask the reason. Sometimes, you back out and refrain yourself from the blow and I feel deserted and land up in a place known as nowhere.
   I show my love and I owe my gratitude to my life who is my soul filled with eternal love.
   Thank you for being the silent smile of my heart. Thank you for being the soul of my body.
Yours lovingly,
(Sometimes, the name in the sign off hurts.)
April 4, 2017

Une réalité dans un rêve

Some say I am vulnerable and most say impassive; and I smile at their assertion.

I used to meet a kid everyday till a few days ago. Sometimes, once in 24 hours and sometimes more than that. I was never good to him. He has always seen the bitter side of mine. Kids are the great souls and I am not good with the great souls. He was more compatible and comfortable with my sibling and parents.

A few days ago, he shifted to a different place along with his parents and I did not even bother to bid him a goodbye. He even left without bothering himself to bid me a goodbye.

A few days after he shifted, I was having my usual nap in the afternoon (the naps last for 3-4 hours at the least). To my utter surprise, I found him during that short nap. He was sitting beside me on the bed and apologizing for all those ill feelings which he had. The eyelashes got parted when a drop of those salty water rolled down my forehead. I woke up, wiped off and walked to the washroom to pour some cold water on my face.

I realized that the apology to be a dream and the tears to be a reality.

Even the weirdest of our dreams have got some emotional impact in the real life and teaches us to move on leaving behind the ill feelings.