I was totally depressed with my chaotic life. Nothing was moving as per the plans, failing in each and everything which I was starting and sometimes, the plans were ruined before they were executed. The more I was thinking, the more I was getting into the claws of negativity. I have already became a prey of the Satan. The angels were far far away from my life. The thoughts which were coming were filled with negative vibes. I have always dealt with the Satan, however, the angels used to be there most of the time. This time it’s being too tough to deal with the Satan all alone. I felt like a kid left alone in a dungeon. I was so frustrated then, that I felt like giving the body of mine to the Satan and the soul to the angels.
Life has always been beautiful and this time I was unable to enjoy the serenity of this beauty. I was unable to learn how to live any more. As said by Leonardo da Vinci “While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.” So, I, finally, decided to take the life out of myself and be a part of death in stead of dying every second, every moment. It’s the dusk (the best hour out of the 24 hours), when I took the guts out of my own self to kill myself. The venom penetrated through my throat dissolving the organs while travelling to the intestine and I thought, for a moment, as if I was dead and free from all the responsibilities, worries, tautness, conflicts and my soul is going to rest in peace. The next moment, I found myself totally conscious, being more responsible than ever before. I started puking by that time and the feeling of regret was killing my inner self more than the poison. The parents of mine were aware of this act and immediately took me to the hospital. When I was going to the hospital, I was having a great conversation with the DEATH and nobody was able to hear the conversation. Nobody was able to hear this tacit conversation of ours. I reached the hospital, doctor did some treatments which I never knew as I was busy talking to my best pal, Death (then). After some moments, I found myself lying on a bed and the best pal of mine has left me. Someone asked me with a curve on his face while my eyes were looking for my, the then, best pal who was neither present there nor willing to turn up. Perhaps, I was intoxicated for which my eyelashes were desperate to hug each other. Whenever they were hugging each other, I was accompanied with the angels and it was so lightened that I was unable to cope up with that light. Slowly and steadily, I coped up with the light and the angels, who showed me the life of mine. The beauty of life was inexplicable. I met it and it did not utter a single word, however, when I opened my eyes later, I found a radical change within me. I was looking for the death then which came and had a great word with me and told me to be with him since then. Because of that radical change (don’t know exactly what’s that change), I turned it down and his ego was hurt for which he told me that, he won’t come ever again and the next time when he’ll come, he’ll take me along with him without any questions.
I met DEATH and even, I met LIFE and I then discovered that the DEATH is beautiful to be with, however, LIFE is much more beautiful to live with. Since that day, I never lived a dead life. I just live my life.
While I was learning how to live, I, exactly, was not learning how to live, I was learning how to spend it, not live it. The day I learnt how to live it, death was far far away with the Satan and the Angels were all around. And, whenever, I met Satan by chance, I found Angels within them even.